Rating Wisconsin Beer Cans

I remember when beer was bland. Their cans consisted of maybe an American flag and even on a special occasion a bald eagle soaring over the nutrition facts label.

Today’s brewers are a little bit more creative: They mix flavors and hops to make magic in a can, and add some creativity to the can design. The brewski’ labels are so good nowadays you’ll probably remember them even if you forget the rest of the night.

Let’s check out three creative masterpieces. 

Fantasy Factory

Like a flashback of 80s art, the Fantasy Factory label sports a gold pistol-toting Rambo-looking cat riding a fire-breathing unicorn. It sounds like a bad B-movie, but the India Pale Ale makes up for the colorful can. 

According to Fantasy Factory, this beer is a “tropical dreamscape with citrus flavors and aromas that collaborate with soft bready notes surrendered from premium English golden malted barley.” 

I’m not sure how noticeable those “bready notes” or “English golden malted barley” will be for the average drinker. But even if these words might only exist in the Magna Carta, at least you can sound sophisticated when telling them to your friends.

Man, what a trip it is to drink this beer!

FVCK COVID

As you can imagine, the FVCK COVID beer by Ale Asylum is quite popular. Brewers cannot keep up with demand. I guess everyone wants to throw back a beer and say, “FVCK COVID!”

While the can’s label will not win any awards for its creativity, you’ve got to admit it is powerful. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at the words “FVCK” and “COVID” the same way again. It’s one of those brand names that seems stupid but quickly becomes an addicting phrase to scream as you enter a drinking game with your friend.

When describing the beer, Ale Asylum simply says this Pilsner is “a great fvcking beer for these strange fvcking times.” Poetic genius.

And creds to Ale Asylum for replacing the “U” with a “V” so the beer stays PG-13. Wouldn’t want any kids perusing the liquor store and coming across a dreadful curse word.

BRW-SKI

Resembling a license plate, Badger State Brewing has outdone itself with this can. BRW-SKI makes you want to grab your skis and head off to the slopes and then enjoy this winter lager. Best results probably achieved in that order.

Defined as a “smooth, malty, caramelly, biscuity treat to keep you cozy while you carve up those hills brew,” SKI-BRW is designed for skiing both in name and taste.

While it is not as colorful as some of the Badger State Brewing’s designs, it represents clean, crisp snow that makes me want to ski. It doesn’t even need much color because of how classy it is.

I recommend keeping these as décor in your basement or preferred drinking location–they might grab you some clout or just be a conversation starter for that awkward colleague you didn’t know was invited to the Super Bowl party.

In Conclusion

Beer brands are getting pretty sophisticated out there, so if your mid-life crisis hobby is starting a new beer brand out of your garage I’d recommend taking an art class first.

Keep drinking, Wisconsin!

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